James and I had been seeing each other for 2 years when he proposed and after that, we lived together for six months in a horrible flat in London before finally deciding that we should make our union 'official'. We were both keen to be married, but the timing was terrible: I'd just started my own business, he was looking for another job and we were both keen to move a little further out of London so that we could have a better quality of living for our rent money! When I sat down and planned my dream wedding, I realised that it couldn't be done for under £12,000 and that was on the conservative side. Yet, I really didn't want to keep putting it off any longer, I knew the time to get hitched was now and going further into debt wasn't an option for either of us. Or our parents.
The only thing left to do was completely release all my preconceived ideas and plans about what our wedding would look like. The only problem was, I continued coming back to the same old english country garden theme - or the bare bones of one- so thinking about my wedding was starting to feel like a disappointment - and it hadn't even happened yet!
One night I sat James down and told him I wanted him to plan the whole lot. He instantly quipped back that the only thing he wanted was me for his wife ...and a holiday in Spain. As soon as I heard that, I felt a surge of relief and excitement. We booked an apartment through Airbnb that night in Andalucia for 16 days. It was private and had its own swimming pool - so that was the holiday part of our wedding sorted.
I bought my wedding dress, sight unseen, from a dodgy looking website that came up during a Google search. James and I 'created' it from my laptop as we sat in bed. I didn't tell anyone at the time because I knew what a bad idea it was. But, to be honest, a part of me really didn't care. I think the whole wedding industry takes itself a bit too seriously. And, the fact is, I didn't have £950 to buy a dress and all the accessories from a shop. Luckily for me, when the box arrived from China 14 days later (and 3 days before we were due to fly out to Spain) it fit perfectly and I loved it. The only thing I added was an indigo ribbon. I already had blue heels I'd decided I would wear and I purchased a head garland of silk flowers from Camden market as I knew it would be too hot to wear real ones. Grand total: £120
The night before we left, we wrote our own wedding vows on a single sheet of paper, each of us using one side. I folded it up and kept it with me. We were technically married at our local registry office on our way to the airport (we had booked this appointment the day after booking Andalucia) and our witnesses were the couple in line after us! So we arrived in Spain 'officially' married.
On arrival, our hosts in Andalucia were amazing: when they heard about our plan, they went out and arranged for us to be blessed in their local Catholic chapel in the village there! James had been right, everything really was slotting into place. The daughter of our host arrived at our villa the morning of our wedding and offered to do my hair, which I happily accepted. For my makeup, I decidedly to go with my daily face. I know weddings are extra special, but I wear makeup every day and I wanted my wedding day to be all about the ordinary me, presented to my husband. It sounds a bit corny writing that down, but it made sense at the time. I'm known for wearing 'Ruby Woo' by MAC day in and out so of course, this was my wedding lipstick as well. For my foundation I wore Boots Beautifully Matt and I have to say, it really stood its ground in the hot, sunshine bursting weather. We had a hot wedding.The whole feeling of happiness was completely overwhelming and the fact that these perfect strangers were so welcoming really made the experience feel predestined. As well as opening up their villa to us, they also loaned us the use of their car whilst we were there and delivered fresh trays of fruit as a honeymoon gift. Three days after arriving, our wedding was blessed in a broken english / spanish ceremony.
Afterwards, still in our wedding finery, our hosts took us to a local tavern for a celebratory lunch, which was so generous of them, it really moved me to tears. Everyone stopped us on the street to kiss me and slap James on the shoulder.The funniest part of it was that there was another town wedding planned for later that afternoon and the tavern we were eating in had its outdoor area set up for that couple - and when they realised that we were a wedding party of just 5, they let us sit out there and enjoy the ambience before the next wedding couple arrived. So we got our reception too! Sure it was just one table, but we had so much fun taking it all in. It was just us, our hosts and their daughter (who was also my hairdresser and our photographer).
As well as being a wedding, this experience really taught me what it means to trust in possibility and accept positivity as an alternative option to what we first decide we need. That sounds like something straight out of a hippy self help guide, but I really mean it. Getting married taught me how irrelevant plans are if your intention is positive. I would never have accepted or tolerated this wedding day if if someone had told me how it would unfold just three months previously. And today? I'm a believer. I believe in love and the positive effects of trusting yourselves to create something magical from whatever you have, even when it isn't much."
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